This was written the day of his birth.
Well my water broke on a day in December at around 5:45 in the morning. So I knew that something was going to happen. I had the feeling earlier that I wanted my DH to stay home but I never said anything because we have had false alarms in the past with other babies….So fast forward to that evening. Once the kids were asleep, things really picked up as I knew they probably would. The contractions were really hard to deal with, I think I had a lot of fear which made them tough. I had to give my self a good heart to heart at around midnight in the shower. Once I thought through things that were bugging me I was able to deal with them and vocalize through them the shower and swaying was so helpful. I couldn’t sit or lay down at all. At around 2:45 they changed again. It was so hard to deal with them, I realized that I was probably in transition and knew that the birth was forthcoming.
I had this hang-up on what if I have to push and I am only 6 cm….. So I had some fear on that front as well. Also this was the first time it was only me, not some midwife telling me what and when to do it. Just before 3:30 DH tried to check and see if I was fully dilated…. He couldn’t figure out what he was feeling but said that he felt baby’s head. So he phoned a doula we know just to ask her about checking for cervix dilation. During this time I am starting to yell that I can’t do it, it hurts too much and no I am done. I knew that I was in transition but it didn’t make it easier. She gave my DH encouragement and said that it wouldn’t be long before baby was born.
I tried giving a few little pushes and they felt so much better. Then I really got into pushing, I put my hand up in to feel if I could feel baby and I felt something really odd and I was trying to figure out what it was. I was still pushing and I could feel myself pooping…. I did with every other baby so I guess why should this one be different. I felt baby’s head come into my hand, my husband said that we had baby’s head right there. I kind of knew that. He told me I had to move my bottom up a bit as I was squatting on the floor at the end of our bed. I lifted my one leg and pushed and out slid baby. It felt so good. His cord was around his neck once and it wasn’t really long.
He pinked up and cried right away, all of the kids came running in to meet their new brother. I didn’t have them in for the actual birth as my 2 year old was up almost all night and I so didn’t need the distraction of him right at that moment. I bled a bit and I pushed out the placenta about 20 minutes later. I think I may have pieces still inside as the after pains are really nasty and remind me a bit of contractions. The placenta didn’t look like it was all intact so I am keeping an eye on fever and stuff. I am taking some homeopathic remedies right now and we will see if they help. We left the cord and placenta attached but I think that we will cut it soon as it is a little bit awkward to handle.
Baby has only nursed a few times and has been sleeping really well. His heart sounds great, and he is quite alert when he is awake. Now we just need to find him a name. So I will be searching this afternoon to see what I can come up with. He has a bit of haemorrhaging in his one eye but I have had several of my kids have that from how fast they came out. I still don’t know if I tore or anything. To me if I did it is minor compared to having him here. I am so happy to be holding my newest little baby and I am glad that it is over. My husband was so awesome. Never once did he question me or yell at me or panic. He was so encouraging and he was the best support I could have ever had. I am so glad to have him….
So now it has been over 2 years since I had him. If I was to get pregnant again I would probably have another UC. It was so empowering. It is really hard to explain how this has made me feel, I guess womanly would probably be the best explanation. I love the fact that my son was born in the room where he was created with only the 2 people who created him there. I love the fact that I trusted my body and myself. I love the fact that I overcame the fear that holds so many women back in birth.
Some people see UC as being irresponsible and foolish. I wonder why is it wrong to trust your body to do something that it was created to do.....